November 10, 2009

This moment

Weirdness.

Afloat in some limitless universe.

A Bottomless pit receives.

darkness that can be worded not.

a shameful feeling of loneliness

in the opening paragraphs of life.

Eye full of searchlights scanning the skies

In the rhythmic clatter of existence

wanting a momentary pause of meaning

space-expanding or contracting

never stagnant-same.

never embracing the whole in perfection.

Give me back my rainbows

those lyrical melodies that were sung within

smugness invade again

this wandering hermit to peace.

October 21, 2009

Scrapbook for Sistah!




Random pages from the scrapbook I made for my sister's birthday.

October 20, 2009

Mahabharat



This series was done as a part of the play "Andhayug" that NID's Khel is putting up, with Arshia Sattar at the helm and Mallika Sarabhai's 'Natrani' supporting us.

We were asked to express in words and/or images what the play meant to us. This was my expression.
It is done on an 8-folded A4 sized sheet of paper. The first image is the front cover and the fifth is the back cover. You unfold it once and image 2 is what you get. Unfold again and the third image emerges. Then you open it completely and the fourth image appears on the entire span of the sheet.

I'm doing a series of these 'handouts'(if you may call them that), as part of my self-sponsored "The NID whim"! :D (No no! No one commissions me to do anything these days! :P)

"The NID whim" is a series of things, NID inspired, that I propose to do. That place has been, so far, the greatest inspiration in my life. And all the things it is inspiring me to do, shall be categorized as part of 'The NID whim' project.

October 01, 2009

NOW

Visions of the blind kingdom,
ideas to doodle,
books unread,
verses framed in the head,
a little longing,
smells of home haunting,
wishes waiting in line,
broken piggy banks,
a dream to live

September 01, 2009

Dada hari ni vav

Trickling droplets from some broken gargoyle-faced gutter, pierced the silence with its crystalline clarity.

Silence. This place was benevolently bestowed with silence, only to be enhanced by mild insect sounds and one's own footsteps.

And when it rains... the symphonic downpour echoes off from the time-washed walls. Every kink of stone etching bounces off the rhythmic sound and the place reverberates with a music, fit only for gods.

And two lucky mortals, who decided to sneak into this heavenly brewing of music on one rainy evening witnessed sights of ethereal quality.

Light and shadow seemed two lovers in disguise. One hiding from the other in haunting nooks and the other seeking it, drawing it out with an arrogant possessiveness.

As the sun sketched its route across th amber skies and clouds erased it with their dirty black rubber markings; as small drops of rain huddled and poured in pellets, light and shadow had a romantic tryst.

Birds called out from crevices unseen, egging one to find out the other. Behind a pillar, beneath that arch...they were playing all over.

And there was none to disturb their solitary romance until two mortals dared to walk in. Even then, they invited them into their game, wrapped them in a spell of silence, rendered them speechless with the beauty of their selves and made them stunned as prisoners to their bewitching game.

***********************************************************************************

Human hands had crudely scrawled a name in charcoal across those stone walls that were gently handled by the hands of time.


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Someday in those days of yore, a young lady must have walked in by moonlight, through the unguarded portals of the royal vav.

Cautious, coy and trembling with the fear of rebellion, she must have walked down, one step after another, anklet sounds resounding in treble its soft whisper.

Eyes alight with the prospective joy and feet suddenly throwing caution to the wind, the lady must have flown down those last few steps with an urgency that beauty must have triggered,

A hollow pit of moonlit water must have reflected in her beady eyes.

Slowly she must have begun to undress before her eyes met those of a handsome stranger. Her clothed beauty was unbearable to him, where could he muster enough strength to see her naked self. he had made himself visible, leaving the refuge of the pillar where some beautiful sonnets were being penned in praise of the moon.

Their eyes must have met and drawn meaning from one another; for suddenly they were strangers no more. Time stood still, reason lay dead, there was something too beautiful for even a poet to capture.

He must have tried to walk towards her and she must have walked a little away. They must have played this game of hide and seek for seconds, minutes, hours... or maybe years!

They must have continued and time must have hidden this place from mortal eyes, lest they spoil its sanctity. Love consecrated the monument. Things must have stayed still. For when my eyes first galloped across every inch of wall, every little carving, it told me the tale, of the beautiful lady called light and the handsome man named shadow and how, they continue their beautiful romance within...


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(This was written as part of our editing exercise's documentation process. We were expected to go visit places that we would like to document and write about it. This was the immediate response I had to the place- Dada ni vav, Ahmedabad.)

August 19, 2009

Observations

Sometimes, when there is so much work to be completed, when deadlines loom large, a sudden urge sprouts and pulls you back and makes you want to go crawling to that earlier self.

The self that wrote reams and reams of trish-trash as it called its writing!

The pen seems so alien sometimes what with cameras and lightmeters and reflectors replacing the soft touch of a plastic...sometime metal body on the fingers, gently carving out lines with deep black ink on to a stark white surface.

Time here, has bribed hands that work the clock, to move quicker than it ought to! The only writing I manage to do is when some random thought seizes my entire being and paralyzes me for oh-but-just-a-moment. And the only writing I DO is to quickly type it down on the 'Notes' folder on my cellphone(which, for the record, has been named 'midget')

I miss the time I used to steal off for myself back in the past. Two months into this place, I'm living life like never before, finding people, carving space, exploring, discovering, scared, happy, annoyed, lonely, ecstatic- everything! But me-time is almost reduced to nothingness and today happens to be one of those super-rare occasions of a few 'blissful just-me hours'.

Apart from the teensy-weensy promos I made, which were mere explorations at stop-motion animation, I explored and read blogs of a few of my seniors here at NID. Somewhere down the line, I'd let myself forget how much I looked forward to this wonderful place. Aided by what happened the week before and a strong bout of homesickness, I almost stopped appreciating the beautiful fact that I'm actually leading the life-of-my-dreams!!!

Their blogs reminded me of the kind of work that we are encouraged to do here and suddenly I realized that my own voice has grown stronger over the past two months. I've explored more of my life, learnt so much, doing things I've never done before and slowly getting to know more about myself!

This is just a thank you note to the fellow NID junta whose blogs I hopped over today(Mini, Shreyas, Arpit, Kaveri,Kaveri's Art blog, Kabini, Reddy, Abhimanyu) and the cosmos out there to have revived what I almost let lie dormant!

The jealous goddess shall be served at her altar more regularly! The writing shall keep coming!

*happy kid-like grins*

:D

August 05, 2009

Never gone!

Dear Cumbum thatha

You'll never be gone for me. I can still hear echoes of your voice calling out to me. I don't really comprehend where you've gone or how I can never see or hear or hold your hand again. These are emotions I am not familiar with.

This is the first time someone from my immediate family is leaving me. I never thought it would be almost like a near-death experience in itself. I can't understand why, how or what the purpose of everything is anymore. It just seems so weird.

I'm numb sometimes, crying my heart out at others, and at other times, I can't believe I still do normal things- like brush my teeth, have a bath and eat. I can't believe that we can still continue with our lives so, when you are gone.

I can never see you again! I can't believe we wont have our mock-fights. That you'll never force me, verbally, to eat curd. I wish you lived, with complete health, to see me make something out of my life.

But your health failed, you became frail. I guess somewhere the family expected that in a few months or years, you would leave us forever.  But nothing prepared me for that call in the morning. I couldn't understand it. That was the strangest news I've ever heard.

Cumbum thatha, who will I talk to fondly, about our dear town- Cumbum? Who'll I bug to quit smoking?

I wish you had good health and didn't suffer so much. I wish I could have done something, anything to make you have some wonderful months before you had left us.

But I hope now, like they say happens once people die, you've been released of all pains and illness and are once more the strong man I greatly admire.

I wish I had told you how much I admire your strength! Your life fascinated me and your struggle reminds me that I need to be strong now, more than ever.  I need to fight it out and pull through, for myself and for you. To make you proud of me, wherever you are.

I wish I could hold your hand and tell you we will always love you. You are a wonderful person and will remain so forever. I just hope you have been able to forget the last few months of pain and confusion.

I shall always remember you by the way you called us 'konde', that lovely voice on the phone telling me a 'hello', all your friendly back-slapping, those numerous card games we played, your amazing cooking, your infinite love for all of us and a million things more.

You are never gone for me, Cumbum thatha. Death will only bring you closer to me. Be by my side always. I love you.

Sandhya